Conferrer : "Sir, we would like to invite you to come up and have a say."
Me: "Thank you very much...and please don't call me back. I want to retire in peace."
Audience : (Standing oviation) *clap*clap*clap* wooohooo!!! Whack the dogs!
Conferrer : "We thank you for the short but meaningful speech, Sir."
Me : "Thank you, MY FOOT!!"
